Z I N G
"I respect your solitude and i want you to respect my melancholy"
....
Though i'm not willing to make any proper bread dough or doughnut, i must mention some threads.... which are entangled within some virtual and natural characters... as we all know sometimes reality is shrunk in vurtuality and vice versa
A and B are friends from their school days, they have thirty year's storyline of going together, though B is dating D for couple of years.... And various cities (1), (2), (3) are witnessing their friendships, where C's ( C1, C2, C3 etc) are virtual viruses..... who are engaged in building roads to reach A, in a mirror world.
She lives an extremely lonely city life, mirror is her only real solid time pass....like entry of a sudden zero in her black and white square mosaic keyboard .....
I) F L E S H
A went wirh her school buddy B on a road trip from city 1 to city 2 on summer vacation....
A - How many years would you take to talk to me?
- Millions
B~ Oh! Again, all these nonsense!
A- Yeah, as we are
B~ We successfully stopped evolving thanks to our superstition that knowledge is powerful and permanent,
A - Right
B ~ And nobody can steal it from us, once we gain it.
A - True
B ~ But, in this constant revolving world like other acquired parameters is not knowledge also illusory
A - Nope, illusion is elsewhere
B~ Is it necessary to keep acquiring informations to handover to some other superbrain or microchip and die of reluctance leaving all normal emotions untouched and untested !
A - Hey! Lucy, Lucy! I love the movie! But, now who is your target? Me!
B~ Or who! The great escapist! I wonder How you escape from all human emotions and its complexity!
A-- Hmm, may you are right a bit. But, i like to retain my happiness ceased, closed, constant ....so i keep distances....
B~ Distance from loved ones makes you happy!
A- I feel like so...we never change things by fighting, no?
B ~ No
A- So, to change existing reality we need to build a new route that makes existing route obsolete...
B~ Hmm
A - so i usually stop where there is beginning of confrontation.... m i clear?
B~ Guess, yes! But, when you love someone, you love the whole person, just as he or she is, and not as you would like them to be! ...this is what, I keep telling myself, when D is getting on my nerve!!
A - Nice!
B ~ And confrontation is part of life!
Don't die of fear, come out, just.....
Music from the car board echoes within car and spreads along the road....
II) C P U :
"...not with gold, we mend crack with rays of golden star... "
....
The mirror says, "I miss a beat for you, in every breath....everyday, love"
But, i'm helpless....
This is the city of extreme
Weird, stubborn, victorious
This particular condition tears me apart to my fundamental pieces.
Now i may recollect those pieces to screen another version of self
Or there are chances to get scattered around
In any case, the yellow light hangs reluctantly and a moon plays a perfect witchy role
Two empty glasses cheer each other through heavy curtain of slow smog...
For all of them, cheers
....
Messages roam over A's tab and mind and heart and brain in her lonly stinky small room with a single window which is suffocated more and more as heavy cloud covers the sky, all the day but no rain .... or else music consumes her daylight and moon from different profiles, different timelines ... as if a Demogorgan or Godot wants to contact her, immediately ! She cautiously absorbed as no other thing was there to consume....and her last sense screams --" Please, don't "
III) B L O O D
"Don't you tell me what you think that I can be
I'm the one at the sail, I'm the master of my sea, oh ooh
The master of my sea, oh ooh
...."
In city 2, ultimately it's raining....such days provoke A to commit suicide .... but, she has to live, for her lonely mother waiting in other city, to see her rise n smile!
A sends a voice note to B... it's office hour there, or, she must call him!
....
- If you tell me... I am one among those cowards, not in configuration to face zero hour
If you think, I always, always bend halfway, obsessed with new directions... I have my answers
Have you ever seen anything more volatile than time ? Inconsistent, rapid, treacherous and ofcourse slave of stronger hands...to obey to follow to transmute to metamorphose to give birth of newer truth...
And the truth is always in mutation. I learn to cope up with transformed facts within me -- in each starving cell, death marks and pebbles....
And I earn a life to live in cost of all lost tracks
B replies
~ I know you and not blaming for anything, only, i want to see you happy...bro! We are almost on same boat, i m on a live one n you are on a dead.... let me admit, it's difficult to find anything new or happy in this grumpy city ( exceptions are exceptions) only a flavour of missing fumes up the lanes... I never owe this city as well this city never owed me...but still compromising, both... the city n me 😊
A : - Bhaai, surely! Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol 😀
IV) C I R C U I T
"Run to the rescue with love and peace will follow "
.....en route
Hashish < route with trace of imposed illusion.... she belongs to that route though she is not there, actually.... nowadays, though sky is blue and sunny enough to ensure festive season, the far city 3 is engaged to get a makeover of idols/ pandals... Durga Puja, Diwali.... so many happy occasions are on her way, she is only in love with green, the ' ' 'Hitchcock Green ', which connects her to the land, the reality
C1 # When vacation is in my mind, i love to write recite sing and dance for you
A - no reply
C2 # Thankfully, you are not plastic, not fixed or static
You may revolt, reshape, relive
A - No reply
C2 # Shadows can't exist in no-love
You know, the phases are volatile, temporary....and the conversation is necessary
A - No reply
C2 # Everything is there, where we keep them
The secrets
The desires
Only, my words may not get sufficient frequency to reach you, properly
A - No reply
C2 # I guess, this is the time to converse, rational
Or who will be my frame! I could not explain anything! Even, when you became part of my support system!
A - no reply
C 3 # I don't know, who am I for you or who are you for him or who is she for me or who is he for her
I don't know if the same silk thread entangles me with you or hee or you with him or me or him with you or her
A - No reply
C 3 # How we live, if we are not allowed to love! Why we suffer or envy or monitor or suspect or why we kill each other
When only love matters!
A : no reply
A -( Monologue) - I know all these voices are fake, imitated, only to jam my brain cells but, this is nice experience where words serve as 100% pure sweetener!
....
And at night, in her lonely bed with sharp fragrance of her body oil, dreams come down through window panes in search of truthful virtuality.... where she can feel fingers, lips even heartbeats of C1... C2... C3... as an affordable and very new kind of entertainment! As if, as if Marijuana is experiencing Hashish.
V) B O N E S
"as long as Sumatra burns we will have failed "
Its a chilled night in city 3 where B is with D on a mood of a delayed celebration. They maintain a relationship in one to one ratio, no one leaves a little place for other one's advantage and like almost all setteled couple, fighting is the only means of showering love for each other.....
D _ "..."You know as well as we do that right, as the world goes, is only in question for equals in power, the strong do what they can, and the weak suffer what they must. "
B ~ Yeah, i know for sure, you are my strong mistress n i'm just happy, being your weak slave
D _ Don't exaggerate, just answer -- is it better to be good, or to be strong?
B ~ Strong, i guess. Goodness is of no use for this dying world.
D _ Oh! Thanks to kind consideration ! Now i need to take lesson on virtue from a cracked joker! And thanks again! Got my birth day gift! For the first time, the most memorable one.....and and.... so early!!
B ~ Is it necessary to gift a particular object or celebrate only a particular day to whom i already gave all and with whom i want to lead my whole life as long-term celebration!
D _ You, masked liar! Spent money and time to make other girls happy! Don't i know! By name of heaven you all are ruthless, it's on your advantage....where you put the drop scene !
I m not prepared text by text but every sword is hungry for blood....i only can curse my foolishness n ignorance,
B ~ Hey! Why have we lost patience, tranquility and capacity to decide... Oh! Fire! I forgot my wish....happy b'day dearest.... forgive this delay, please! ( D left the table in disgust)
....
At the edge of actual drop scene with extinguished candles, filled wine glasses, resilient dark chocolate cake, eager knife, pure white table cloth , vibrant vase and fearful silence ....
B types to A ~ We are converting ourselves to machines and the process is rapid, irreversible
Heart's silence, hand's dichotomy, head's scripture, soul's turmoil, cosmic pattern of limbs...mechanised....
faster
Traces of mammoth
Shades of green
Cages and bound hands
The bull and the goat are mechanised... in low, medium and fast moving radioactive particles ...with their consecutive resting times
And emerge in rays.....
....
A was chopping vegetables at her small kitchen cabinet....
Replies promptly,
- thankfully, nature is not ditch as our brain cells...freedom is in open air, abundance of light, profound water...
B ~ True, there's no festival for us, except freedom and my life becomes too agitating to dilute different views from different directions... for me, " silence is the cross on which we must crucify our ego "
A - Then crucify yourself with "green and golden"....
....
B orders a different drink for him n writes to D
~ If not in your love, keep me in your hatred forever
Whom you burnt alive
the ashes, you may let Ganga, engulf in
But, you know, am a bud of poison, so quickly resume life and, this morbid weed you went on consuming again, again
Let me be in you, in arteries n veins within pumped fluids till you find a new cross line
Is D weeping, within her secret cold chamber!
VI) S O F T W A R E
"though the truth may vary this ship will carry our bodies safe to shore"
Voyage ][ Hashish < Hephaestus
On a bright morning of spring , A reaches a tree house at an isolated village, within a Himalayan valley, covered by dense forest and a river....on invitation from one of her old friends, who is settled there to work with village women. She is a rising entrepreneur...
The innocent green, the bright sun, calm crimson evening and, above all, poor net connection takes her away from C1, C2, C3 as well as B.... She has plenty of time to think, to talk to walk and to absorb silence.....
Within this tranquillity, where she can listen to her own heartbeat... she can visualize the whole platue just opening one of her eye, from her tiny log bed....
On her first night, she had a nightmare ... her childhood home, parents, neighbours, friends.... the old creeky stairs....the doors., balcony all were there...under massive flood! She tried her best to reach the staircase, to reach her own place, upstairs... but could not swim... water engulfed the platue and her way back home.
She saw C! He came, held her hand and helped her to swim, to reach the staircase.....safe! C!!!! Is he from tomorrow or from yesterday.... She murmured , Zing! And came to sense, completely !
She wants to write a quick note for B ....
... “Love is a destructive process. It has nothing to do with becoming better or being happier. Love is the crumbling away of untruth. It’s seeing through the facade of pretense. It’s the complete eradication of everything we imagined to be true.” ( i borrowed this quote, as i can't find any word, to explain.... my state !)
A can remember how indifferent and reluctant she was towards C whenever they met, now she smiles herself, "Northing is dirty in love, honey! " Next moment, anxiously she checks her phone for the sign of network.... She may call C to say only "Sorry!" Oh! this turmoil.... she thinks,
"Actually, i wanted to reach him! " Her phone shows no hopeful sign!
Again she writes for B -
May he is as attractive as magnets are, with his wrecked wretched character. He does not care if i ignore him or at all not aware.
After prolonged decay, after failure of centuries....with keen memories, he is still stubborn for a single listener...who may
listen to his complete stories, someday....
At that moment her brain starts to act like a super computer... but channels are cracked down by jammed memories, on her way to him ... messages, pictures, songs strike upon each other haphazardly like her brain is a child-drawn geometry page, who uses eraser more often than pencil... only the trees are in full bloom.. in maroon, red, yellow, orange, pink, mauve ...she can see a fulwali girl here, in bright pink frock, picking flowers....
For B, she writes more, "without him i wouldn’t have moved this way, to speak the language of flowers "
Her brain-cells scratch the same clumsy geometry page....
"Blurred are motions or circles or wake up calls or sleeping pills but, only one sense remains awfully alive....in luminous day or kohl night....may you move a bit closer .... may you see, i also wait for you, for a miracle to happen
a
l
o
n
e
With huge couage, A gathers herself to move to the end of the village, where trace of concrete road can be seen as well as net/ phone connection.... She walkes faster and faster, her heart pounds so fast! She only wants to leave a message for C.... " how are you? "
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